I have just completed Michael Brown’s ‘The Presence Process – A Journey into Present Moment Awareness’ It wasn’t all plain-sailing – my resistance manifested in many ways; forgetfulness, not bothering, feeling uncomfortable and creating all manner of plausible excuses why I can’t face something that’s clearly a block for me! According to Brown, ‘it’s the mind struggling to give up it’s God-like control and grip on my experience of life’. I know the games I play are the same ones I played when I was a child; not wanting to do my home-work, avoiding being found-out, playing up to get attention. Nothing’s new, it’s all a repeating pattern, ‘driven by unintegrated emotional charge’. I now realise that decades have past, and opportunities have been squandered as I allowed myself to be distracted by the symphony of discomfort and pain. The time was right for me to get some clarity, focus my energy and accelerate the process of integrating my past and the ancient feelings from childhood into my adult experience of life. The proof is in the eating. Read, follow the simple instructions and the rest is down to you. Only you can feel your unintegrated charge. Only you can face your fear, anger and grief. No one else, not even Michael Brown can do it for you.
I wrote a poem today!
Dash to pieces the structures I’ve built,
Destroy my dreams to conquer my plight,
Show me how to love more deeply,
Wherever I hide, shine in your light.
Whatever I’ve fought, may I fully embrace,
And soften towards my one time foe.
Where my heart is closed, may it be open,
Where I still hold on, may I let it go.
Despatch your infinite supply of agents,
That I may trust the vibration of life.
Help me laugh at my serious thinking,
Humour amidst my trouble and strife.
Be my stillness in the violent storms,
Spare not the truth although I grieve.
Hold me tight when I stumble and falter,
Be my breath when I cannot breathe.
Let me experience the joy of living,
May presence be my resting place.
As I learn to feel, not just to feel better,
I gracefully decline this human race.
We’ve all had fearful experiences as a child and as an adult, and we mostly react by mentally escaping into the illusionary corridors of time. In this mentally manufactured dream world we pretend everything is all right or will be all right some time in the future. Through fear, we trade being present for the mental armoury of pretence.
Through embracing physical presence we change our approach from fearfully hiding in a mental dream world to recognising ALL experience as an opportunity for growth.
Embrace today, fellow warriors of love; be present and grow!